I have lists. Lots of lists. I even have them in different locations sometimes. Some of them are carefully written down in my notebook, others are typed into OneNote and I’ve been experimenting with Remember the Milk and Trello (Trello is winning). These lists include ideas for presentations, blogs, articles. Notes from sessions I’ve attended or meetings. Lots and lots of plans and ideas and all that sort of stuff. I try to keep it organized, but sometimes it runs away from me. However, I find writing things down helps me to keep things organized. Between very carefully scheduling out my calendar and all these notes, I only occasionally completely drop the ball.

One ball I dropped was coming up with some goals, some plans, for 2012. I just plowed through 2011 and then 2012 and here I am, two years an employee with Red Gate (and I’m sorry to say, terribly happy there, my apologies) and I’m not sure where I should be going. I don’t mean within the company. We’ve got lots going on there (more than I can keep up with). No, I mean career goals, work outside work, all the extra stuff.

I’m going to break these down into pure technical issues that I want to spend more time on and professional development. Let’s start with the easy stuff, technical.

First, HDInsight. I absolutely believe there’s something big possible with this technology. I could be utterly wrong (I sure thought SCOM had legs too, oops). But I’m going to keep slogging on this stuff til I get something of a more thorough understanding of it. I doubt I’ll be presenting on it except maybe for introductory sessions, and not even those for the next 3-6 months. But I’m going to get my mind wrapped around it and understand how it works. Maybe then I can better determine if it’s just a highly specialized impact wrench or a true paradigm shift.

Next up, more Azure. Go ahead, giggle. Microsoft keeps doing more and more stuff with it. You know you can store spatial data in Azure now? I didn’t either until earlier this week. I’m going to be presenting on how to do query tuning using Azure SQL Database tools. Actually, I’m thinking I’ll only use the online tools. Everything you need is there. You can access most of the Dynamic Management Objects (DMO) and you can read execution plans from queries there. I’ve got presentations already scheduled for this. I’m pretty excited about others that might be scheduled (LOTS of noise if those come to pass). I’m going to continue expanding my learning here.

As to professional/personal development, I’ve got something somewhat trivial I want to work on, and something that, frankly, scares me. I would also like to find a coach or coaches.

The trivial task is that I want to work on pumping up my slide decks. I’ve long simply used them as markers for my talks. Bullet points as reminders of the topics I want to make sure I cover. They somewhat act as a point for taking notes for the attendees, but they are excessively dull. I’m going to work with Mrs. Scary (a graphic artist, good at her job, freelance if you need some help and are willing to pay for it, get in touch) and punch up my presentations. I had about 12 or so different presentations last year. This year, I’m dropping that number down a little.

Scary. Really scary. No, not me. Me. I mean I’m scared, not scary. I’m scared because I’ve taken on the task of acting as a mentor to an actual human being. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I find that extremely scary. I’ve got a level of responsibility that I’ve never had with putting up a blog post or even making a presentation. It’s as bad as writing a book (and if you think putting your name on a book isn’t scary, wait til you see your first bad review). But, I’m excited by it. This is something new and different. I’m really looking forward to it, and I think the person who approached me has a lot of potential. They’ll be great without my ever getting involved, so if I can take some of the credit, I win. Sorry, joke. I’m going to try to help someone who doesn’t need it, but will benefit from the help. Assuming I get it right… Scared again.

Coaches. Am I doing the marketing bits of my job right? I don’t know. I need some help in that area. Am I approaching learning HDInsight correctly? I could use a coach to talk with and get some guidance from. Maybe some suggestions on my slides (although my wife is going to supply a lot of that). Pro athletes do it. Good surgeon’s do it. They must know something. It’s an approach I want to try.

That’s it. I’ll be continuing things like working on books (yes, I’ve committed to writing one and editing one, so far), presentations, light consulting, and working for a fantastic organization. But these are the current plans for 2013.

After multiple talks with Jason Strate (blog|twitter) and Denny Cherry (blog|twitter) about how they are working on automating more of their blogging and social media interactions, I’m going down that road… a little ways.

The first thing that I’m trying out is Pocket. It’s a way to capture web sites that you want to read later. You don’t want to have to try to manage book marks in your browser. They all suck (and Google Chrome on the Mac sucks even worse) in this task. So this app lets you quickly mark a site and tag it for reading later. Further, you have an account that you can access from multiple devices. I’m already trying out two different readers that will work with Pocket on the Surface and I already have one for the phone. (yes, still using the Surface, more blog posts coming).

This then leads to IFTTT, or If This Then That. It’s a way to automate some of the interactions of things you do on the internet. I’m just getting started. I just set up my first trigger to post any articles I’ve read from Pocket to my Facebook account with a link. It was insanely, stupidly simple. Oh boy! More stuff to come as soon as I can find more things to do with this. Oooh, there are suggested triggers, such as RSS feeds to Pocket. Oh yeah, this is dangerous, slick and cool. Stand back.

I’m also looking at HootSuite. I’ve already been using automating a Facebook post and a Tweet when I post to my blog. But, it’s just the one time. You know how any one Tweet can get lost in your Twitter stream. So, maybe a few (a very few, I refuse to become a spam engine) extra tweets after a blog post would be useful. The basic setup there is quite simple, but management looks like a bear. I’ll have to see if IFTTT can help there. Ah, there it is, a nice easy way to link an RSS feed to accounts. Can’t do all accounts at once without moving to the paid service. I’ll have to wait to see if I need that.

All experiments are starting out on Facebook, primarily because I care the least about my Facebook account. I do care about G+ and Twitter. These seem to have a lot more professional interactions.

As I see more possibilities here, I’ll share them.

I should know. I was one of the judges of this year’s Exceptional DBA of the Year award. I had to read through tons and tons of submissions and help to arrive at a final list of people who truly personify the concept of both the DBA and the exceptional person. They are all worthy of your votes, but you can only pick one. Today is the final day to make your voice heard and get your influence in. Please, let us know who you think the Exceptional DBA of the Year is by clicking on the link, now, and voting.

I presented a session at the SQL Saturday event in Oklahoma City last weekend. The event itself was pretty good. The organizers put everything together pretty well and the venue was quite nice. Plus, since I grew up in Oklahoma (Tulsa), it was a chance to go home. The event was good, but my presentation went a little downhill.

The name of the session is “Top Tips for Better Stored Procedure Performance.” I should rename it to just say “T-SQL Query Performance” because it’s not focused on stored procedures, but on queries. The presentation is 1/3 talking about how you write your queries, naming syntax, formatting, etc. The second 2/3 is all about common mistakes made in writing T-SQL such as using NO_LOCK everywhere, nesting views, joining and nesting multi-statement table-valued user defined functions, operations on columns that prevent index usage, etc. It really is a session that could be sub-titled “You’re doing it wrong.” I’m trying to deliver a hard message and offer alternatives.

From the start of the session, it felt rushed. Not sure what happened, but it was a little out of my control and it shouldn’t have been. Still, I hit most of the major points. I have a few points that I can gloss over for time and I found that I was glossing a little more than I wanted. However, I finished it all up and I thought I had the major points I wanted to hit well covered. I had some fun with the audience and people were laughing at the right spots. So, while a little rocky, it was basically good. Until I saw this in the evals:

No, please, call me Richard

And that, is hands down, the single worst comment I’ve ever received. Ever.

So, of course, I went through the rest of the evals, in a panic. There were about 72 people in the audience and I received 60 evaluations. That’s when I spotted another set of comments that said “All we did was whine about bad code. Very few constructive and helpful comments… Informal and overly-expressive, and whiney[sic] presentation style left me feeling like he was trying to cover up not really knowing what he was talking about.”

Great. First I’m a dick and now I’m a “whiney” dick. A dick who used whining to cover up a lack of knowledge.

There were two measures offered on the front; “Expectations” and “Overall quality of the presentation.” The Expectations could be “Did Not Meet”, “Met”, or “Exceeded.” The quality question was numbered 1 to 5 with 5 being the best. Out of 60 evals, 41, or 68%, rated me as “Exceeded.” 28% (17) rated me as “Met” expectations. I received only 2 “Did not Meet” And before you think it’s just the two highly negative comments, you’d be wrong. Another person wrote “Too simple starting out. No time left when getting to the good stuff.” Which, I can live with as a very fair representation. Oh, but the dick commenter, he gave me a “Met” expectations. With the scores, 73% (44) gave me a 5 and 25%(15) gave me a 4. There was a single 1 from the “whiney” guy. Yep, the dick person gave me a 4. In short, a pretty fair representation with good reviews and fair comments, except for the outliers.

I do feel like I didn’t give as good a presentation as I can. It did feel rushed to me, making that one comment quite valid, but I sure don’t see where I came across as a whiny dick. The other comments were pretty good, including this “Not only informative, but also entertaining” and “Very useful pointers & suggestions! Good Q&A interaction.” So I’m seriously at a loss to understand the extreme nature of these two comments. I’m used to the “you were too basic” next to the “you were too advanced” comments. That’s pretty normal. This presentation is meant to pop bubbles (nesting views leads to problems, sorry you don’t like that statement of fact, but that doesn’t make it less true). But whiny dick… And, one guy says I’m covering up a lack of knowledge and the other says I’m a know-it-all.

Let’s just say I’m going into a little navel gazing to see if I can make a few adjustments to my presentation style.

Thanks everyone who attended, and thank you, everyone, for the feedback. It’s appreciated.

I can’t sing and I can’t play and I left the young generation behind a while ago, but I’m still coming to your town, or maybe one near you.

Between August and December I’m hitting a substantial portion of the country, so if you want to have a little fun, discuss SQL Server, network, or just chat, here are your chances. Please, ask me questions. Please, walk right up and say hello because we can learn from each other and I love my SQL Family. Here’s where I’m going to be:

SQL Saturday #125 in Oklahoma City, August 25: Only one presentation here, Top Tips for T-SQL Performance, but it’s a fun presentation. Register now because time is running out.

SQL Saturday #156 in Providence, RI, September 15: This is being run by the PASS User Group that I helped found and was President of for… a long time. It’s going to be a great event. I’m presenting Top Tips for T-SQL and What to Look for in Execution Plans.

SQL in the City, New York, September 28: The SQL in the City events are free SQL Server instruction done the Red Gate way. We did two last year, London and LA. We’ve already done London again this year (here’s the highlight reel). These are amazing and fantastic events. Not only do you get excellent SQL Server training from top names in the business, but you’ll also get a lot of great information about Red Gate products. We’re taking the show on the road in the US this year and this is the first stop. I have three sessions, Red Gate Tools the Complete Life Cycle, A Sandbox Development Process, and Forgotten Rings and other Monitoring Stories. Please register for this event by clicking right here.

SQL in the City, Austin, October 1: Yes, that’s only a few days after New York. We’ll wrap one up and head to the next. I’m jazzed as all get out to present in Austen. I like Texas (even though I grew up in Oklahoma). I’m doing the same presentations at this event; Red Gate Tools the Complete Life Cycle, A Sandbox Development Process, and Forgotten Rings and other Monitoring Stories. I point that out because they will change in different cities. Remember, this is a free event, so all you have to do is convince the boss that you need the day off and then click here to register.

SQL in the City, San Francisco, October 3: Two days later, on to the West Coast for another of the Red Gate events. By this time, I’m not sure what’s going to come out of my mouth, so you’re going to want to be there to watch. Kidding. I’m totally ready for this. I’ll be presenting the same three presentations again. I’m sure they change at some point. Just click here to register. Remember, it only costs a little of your time… and did I mention beer? I didn’t? Well I should have. We always close out with a little beer just to thank you for coming. So, put it all together, Free … Red Gate … SQL Server … Beer.

SQL in the City, Chicago, October 5: It’s Friday so it must be Chicago. One of my absolute favorite SQL Saturdays was here in Chicago, so I can’t wait to present here again, only this time painted red. And, I get to present with good friends. Actually, I get to do that in every city. This time I only have two presentations (see, told you it would change); A Sandbox Development Process, and a Presentation to be Named Later. You can register by clicking and filling out some 1s and 0s.

SQL in the City, Boston, October 8: Oh my god I’m dying. Kidding. I get to spend one night at home before this event, so I’m going to be completely recharged and ready to utterly crush it, like one of our local sports teams (in a good year). Seriously though, I’m really jazzed to be able to present in my adopted home town (well, near it, I live in Grafton) the following sessions: Red Gate Tools – The Complete Life Cycle, A Sandbox Development Process. May the demo gremlins leave me alone (unlike London). Free instruction available to you by registering.

A short break…

SQL Server Connections, Las Vegas, October 30 – November 1: Connections is a multi-disciplinary conference featuring all different technologies all at once. It’s a fairly unique experience. Oh, and it’s in Vegas, which excites some people. But for the truly enlightened you get to receive instruction from top names in the industry (and they let me in too). The sessions here are going to be: All about the Execution Plan and Improving Query Performance by Understanding and Fixing Bad Parameter Sniffing.

SQL in the City, Seattle, November 5: A little hop across a single time zone and I’ll be in Seattle where we get to do our Red Gate dance again, right before the PASS Summit. If you’re in town, you may want to check this out. I’ll be presenting A Sandbox Development Process …. and that’s it (for the moment). You know you want to register for this.

PASS Summit Pre-Conference Seminar, Seattle, November 6: This will be an all day drill down on how to tune your queries. We’re going to cover how the optimizer works, how to identify the queries needing tuning, how to capture execution plans, all sorts of stuff, for seven hours. The last time I did this presentation at SQL Rally in Orlando, it sold out. I don’t know if you can actually sell out a pre-con at PASS, but rather than risk it, I suggest registering now. Plus, if you register for the Summit now, the cost savings pay for this session. How can you go wrong. Come down a day early and go to the SQL in the City event too.

PASS Summit, Seattle, November 7-9: It’s the PASS Summit. What else can I say about it. You’ve either been there and you know, or you’ve heard about it, in which case you don’t know, yet. I’m presenting twice here, Improve Query Performance by Fixing Bad Parameter Sniffing and What to Look For in Execution Plans.

a slightly longer break (probably spent in a hospital)…

SQL Server Live!, Orlando, December 10-14: This is a new conference for me, so I don’t know what to expect at all. But, it’s in Orlando, which is a great town, and a great place to meet and network with SQL Family. Please consider attending. I’ll be presenting Backups for the Accidental DBA and Query Performance Tuning and Load Testing.

That’s it. I have to be within 3-4 hours of a majority of the country at some point over the next four months. Please, get in touch.

I read an excellent article by Camille Fournier about the importance of recognizing that being right is not the only factor that needs to be taken into consideration when making a decision. You could even change it from “being” right to “doing” right. Although, I mean it in a technical sense, not a moral one.

If you haven’t read it already, go ahead, I’ll wait…

I agree with her.

I’ve been that guy… more than once…. okay, okay, a bunch of times. You know that guy. The one who just couldn’t see past the point that we were doing something wrong, something stupid, something that would bite us in the butt for the next three or four years. Oh yeah, that guy. The popular one (not at all). The one the that causes the to boss starts to cringe whenever that guy heads towards the office. Been there, done that, have the embossed external hard drive.

Now… over the last several years, I’ve made an honest and sincere effort to not be that guy. I’ve tried pointing out the flaws, making my arguments, and then, if they get shot down, lose quietly & gracefully. Sometimes I’ve been successful. Other times not so much (times 100). I usually gaged how successful I was by how angry one member of my team, who never compromised, became.

The only thing is, well, sometimes, that guy (or gal), is 100% correct.

Not only that, but the boss/program team/consultant/whoever on the other side of, what to mean seems a silly argument, ready to toss common sense out the window in order to deliver software faster (because it always seems to come down to how fast we deliver the software) is 100% wrong. Not only are they wrong, but they’re destructively wrong. Project wrecking wrong. I’ve seen it happen, multiple times. That’s why those of us who do tend to act like that over-wrought freak-out queen put on our performance. I know we’re crazy to thins it’s a really bad idea to throw out relational integrity, stop designing databases for optimal storage, rely on the app for all integrity checks, use an ORM tool as an OOM tool, skip testing for deployments, stop maintenance routines and monitoring, or just flat out ignore the laws of physics. We’ve seen the projects fail because we understand how things work. We just can’t always explain that understanding to others.

So the real key here is that you have to split this hair mighty fine. Yeah, giving up on some processes, some best practices, in some situations, that really can make all the difference in getting software out the door faster & more efficiently. No question. But, those same compromises can lead to absolute failure. Management has to be able to listen to weed out the best practice complaints from the technically unsound complaints. And we geeks have got to stop having the vapors every time a developer proposes making a change to the system or a process. Otherwise, we won’t be listened to when it really counts, like the Boy Who Cried “Wolf!”

Wow!

How’s that for a recap?

The concept for the SQL in the City events is pretty simple. Put on a free event that instructs people on SQL Server, Azure, and related technologies along with a healthy smattering of Red Gate tools. All teaching is done by some of the best people in the business (and me).

This was the second event in London. The concept was launched there last year and succeeded quite well. This year the event filled it’s registrations so quickly that Red Gate felt obligated to have a second day, which almost completely filled up too. There were more than 350 people in attendance on Friday, and then, on Saturday, a day off, another 250+ people showed up. That’s well over 600 attendees over the two days. And what people! The UK audience is just excellent. These people really pay attention to what you’re saying. They don’t make many comments while the presentation is going on, but oh my gosh the detailed questions you get afterwards. It’s just wonderful. Plus, these guys are part of my #sqlfamily. I got to meet several people that I’ve met before in both the US and the UK. I love spending time with Tobiasz, Dave, Kev, Annette, Jonathan, Thomas, Neil. I also got to meet people that I had interacted with only online and they’re wonderful in person. Thanks to everyone who sought me out, especially Colin and Stephanie. It was a real privilege to meet you two (although neither of you knows the other). It’s the interpersonal aspects of these events that makes them great.

It’s so nice to be able to relax and show people something like how to get a sandbox environment set up, but all the ways that using Red Gate tools to do it can help you make the job easier, faster and cheaper. Normally you can’t give an open answer when someone asks how to do something better or easier during a session. This venue makes that possible.

I put on three sessions during the day. One on how to improve performance, yours and your code, in T-SQL. I got to regale the crowd on all the evils of ddltbl (not a typo, you had to be there) as well as common, simple, mistakes made all the time in T-SQL code. I also did a session on sandbox deployments. While I’m personally against giving everyone & their brother a copy of the production database for development, I acknowledge that it is a good set of data to develop against. So, if you have to do it, you may as well use Virtual Restore to save some space. Finally, my last session was on some of the lesser used performance metrics that are actually more useful than people give them credit for.

I sat in on some of the other presentations and they were great. I really liked Steve Jones (blog|twitter) session on handling disasters. I also liked watching a new speaker, Annette Allen (twitter), stretch her legs for the first time. She was good. UK user groups take note. You have another resource available.

I had a blast presenting all these sessions, twice, and the crowds seemed receptive. I really appreciate everyone who attended and the excellent feedback that they politely (but firmly) provided. Then we had beer.

Yeah, you heard me. Wonderful, glorious, Red Gate beer served right there at the event. It was a great batch of Select * Ale. Highly recommended at the end of a hard day of T-SQL learning and networking.

It was a magnificently run event. The only complaint I heard was that we had an inadequate number of bathrooms for the men (which, I learned, are not called stalls in the UK, some humor doesn’t translate well). Thanks to Annabel Bradford and all the team at Red Gate who put the event together (even if I do work for them, it was a really well run event). You guys are magnificent.

If you missed a session while you were there or you want to see a session again, keep an eye on the SQL In The City web site. Videos of the sessions will be uploaded. If you weren’t there, you missed it. But, I have good news.

We’re taking the show on the road. We’re going to be hitting five cities in the US in September and October and then Seattle in (which I think is still in the US) in November. It’s going to be a lot of the same people presenting the same topics, but it’s also going to include a ton of excellent local speakers at each of the cities we hit. This means the excitement and education that SQL In The City represents will be accessible to lots more of you soon.

I’m happy to say that for most of you out there, the answer to this question is “no.” That’s as it should be. I’m not anyone all that special. I present technical sessions at various events from local user group meetings to SQL Saturday’s to international events like the PASS Summit and 24 Hours of PASS. Why? Not because the attendees know my name, that’s for sure. It’s because of a combination of at least two of these three things:

1. The organizers might know my name or may know of my books or the fact that I’m working for a vendor that sponsors their event
2. I’ve submitted sessions that seem to be of interest to the people who might be attending the event being organized
3. I’ve got a track record of delivering decent, if not world-altering, presentations that people find useful.

Let’s say you’re organizing a SQL Saturday event. And, let’s say that you want to get as many attendees as you possibly can. Is your best bet to find a bunch of people with MVP or MCM after their name? Or, should you focus on getting an interesting set of content from speakers that you know can deliver?

From what I’ve seen, it’s that second option that is your best bet. I’ve stood in front of people and started talking about a topic that I have a written a book about only to find that the entire room was not aware that I had written that book. They weren’t there for me. They were there for knowledge that I might be able to communicate to them. They were there for the topic, not the speaker. I’ve seen local speakers give presentations that were simply amazing, despite the fact that they didn’t have a book or weren’t blogging constantly. It’s the content and delivery, not the person delivering it. You’re going to know your local speakers as well as, or better than, any of the MVPs. Rely on your knowledge of these people and the fact that you’ve seen them present before.

This is something that I think way too many people overlook. Especially when you’re managing a SQL Saturday event, you need to build an interesting set of topics, not lure a bunch of MVPs to your event. Guaranteed, you’ll get an MVP or three. Don’t focus on that or worry about it. Instead, focus on your agenda. Build a good set of presentations, the kind that are going to be the most useful to your audience.

Don’t believe me? Check out these links to the front page of the PASS Summit 2011, 2010, 2009. Note a couple of things. First, no headliners at all. No speakers are called out in any way except the people delivering the key notes. Second, there are Flickr & Twitter streams in which anyone can be one the front page for a time. In short, the focus is on content and attendees.

Remember this when you’re setting up your event.

Oh, and don’t bother linking to this post. Everyone has my permission to copy and paste this and claim it as their own. You just have to include this disclaimer for everyone else to copy and paste this post as well.

I’m travelling to several upcoming events and I’d love to sit down and talk with you. Yes, I get it, most of these events you’re going to see the sessions, but you really should plan on networking too. Here’s your chance to get started on that:

Southern New England SQL Server Users Group, East Greenwich,RI – 3/14/2012:
TSQL Deployment and Continuous Integration Best Practices

SQL Saturday 120, Orange County – 3/24/2012:
I’m presenting two times here. They’re both presentations that I’m working up for Connections.
Common Backup Problems and How To Deal With Them
TSQL Deployment and Continuous Integration Best Practices

SQL Connections:Las Vegas 3/26 – 3/29/2012:
I get it. You don’t go to Vegas to network. That doesn’t mean you can’t still do that too. I’m presenting three sessions.
Top Tips for Writing Better TSQL
Common Backup Problems and How To Deal With Them
TSQL Deployment and Continuous Integration Best Practices

New England SQL Server Users Group – 4/12/2012:
Common Backup Problems and How To Deal With Them

SQL Saturday 111, Atlanta – 4/14/2012:
Execution Plans, a Deep Dive
Common Backup Problems and How to Deal With Them

In addition to these networking opportunities, I’m also speaking online at:

SQL Lunch UK – 3/13/2012:
Deadlocks, How to Identify Them and What to Do About Them

24 Hours Of PASS – 3/24/2012:
What to Look For in SQL Server 2012 Execution Plans

I’ve got more stuff coming in May, June and July (including SQL in the City) and I’ll post that as we get closer.

Seriously, please, let’s talk.

Tom LaRock (blog|twitter) has assigned an interesting topic for Meme Monday this month, working with deadlines.

Some people hate deadlines. Some people love deadlines. But when you have one, there’s a good chance you need to really meet that deadline or there could be repercussions.

I have a tip that I’ve found useful in the past. When I have a deadline for delivery of X, I evaluate that requirement and determine what, if anything, is dependent upon other people. I’ve found this to be the biggest issue because my deadline is seldom their deadline. So if there are parts of my deadline where I’m dependent on others, that’s my first task: Go have a chat.

Here are a few questions:

• Is X a deadline for them?
• If so, when do they expect to deliver?
• If that negatively affects my deadline, can they adjust? If not, you may need to talk to someone about your deadline.
• If it’s not a deadline for them, when can they deliver?
• Can I hold you to that? Meaning, I’ve just given the other person a deadline.

Obviously you can’t just storm into an office and start rearranging people’s schedules (trust me, they get upset). You’ll need to work with them. But, it needs to be your first priority because, you can put yourself on a 24/7 alert to make a deadline if you want to, but, unless you’re in management, you don’t get that kind of control over your fellows.

To make your deadline, priority one is to recognize your dependencies on others.